The prominence of having people in your life who apply the anesthetic of love but also the scalpel of truth are invaluable and who I am indebted to for every ounce of my personal growth as a human being & rider. It’s what gives me the luxury of enjoying and maintaining my sobriety. It’s what inspires me to no end. Because of these special people and connections in my life I got to take part in a show this past weekend that will go down as a huge learning opportunity met, and a milestone of mental strength.

Riding in a shadbelly coat means you are crazy enough to think you have put in the work to ride in the top levels of our sport, or you have put in the work. First time I rode in one, I was crazy to think I had put in the work. This time…no matter what came of it…I knew we had put in the work. Lots of work. Of all different kinds.

Three years passed before Bob and I would ride in the FEI show ring again, and truthfully, it’s not something I really thought would come to be. For those of you who are new to our journey, Bob and I initially went from riding intro level dressage to PSG in a matter of 16 months (I had never shown past training level and Bob had never shown past 3rd.) It’s not something I would recommend and not something I would have done over given a chance to make different decisions. Why?….

Three years ago at the same October show at Southern California Equestrian Center Bob and I rode down centerline for our first PSG. I published A Tale Of Tails following that show and 2 weeks after Bob was badly cast in his stall resulting in an injury that almost cost him his life. In a separate incident about a month later, I was involved in an accident that almost cost me my life. Most everything about our partnership has changed or is in the process of changing due to lessons learned out of necessity. That is a huge value to our sport. It’s a journey of learning. Three years ago, as someone returning to the sport after 17 years, I had I a completely different level of knowledge about training, horsemanship & our sport. I hope 3 years from now I get to look back and have a similar ethos but have learned even more. For example…I was not able to put a double bridle on him without giving him a cookie. I had no idea that there was any correlation between bridling a horse -submission & hind end activity. I had NO idea that followed us into our ride and beyond. I now know how to activate his hind legs before bridling and maneuver his head back and fourth dropping his head to easily bridle him. It makes such a huge difference to not skip over things that might seem small but become a theme in your partnership leading to larger issues.

Bob is an opinionated horse who we have worked hard with to find his listening ears. To wait, to relax, to engage, connect & so many other things I was mystified about three years ago. He can be temperamental in nature which lead to me becoming fearful of him and putting myself in a position of not being able to lead. Now, he craves a leader. Truly 99% of the we get into trouble currently it’s because I am not leading… we have come a full 180 in this area and for that, I am the most proud.

I knew going into this weekend we might possibly still be tackling some baggage in the show ring we were working past as a result of moving up the levels so quickly together. I always laugh and say that showing is my favorite time to become a passenger rider. Why not pay a hefty sum to trailer your horse to a different location to be judged by someone while you do your worst riding. Makes sense to me, apparently! The goal for me was to keep Bob calm, collected, ride from a calculated cerebral mindset & we both delivered. On Sunday we improved from our first test on Saturday and I was so proud of the both of us. We have our Fourth Level scores for our USDF Silver Medal and missed our first PSG score by a hair, I couldn’t care less. We had so many moments of growth where Bob trusted me to lead and I did just that.

It’s important in our sport to share all the sweet, bitter & contrasting moments. So much of what we see are only a highlight reel with ribbons & high points… and that couldn’t be further than what the truth is for so many of us. Grit is what you get from staying your course and it’s a service to let the next in line behind you, know it’s possible to ride alongside you. It’s a true joy to be able to share our truth with you all.

With Barnmate Aysha Banos & Trainer Kim Kulesa

Finding someone on this journey of growth in our industry can be an incredibly mixed bag. In A Tale Of Tails PT 1, I wrote how a competitor in my class loaned me her shadbelly. That person has since gifted me that shadbelly (that I got to wear for a second time this past weekend) become my mentor, trainer, friend & such a golden thread in my life that I don’t know how I’ll ever thank her. Kim Kulesa has been a staple in our community for years and I am so humbled and honored to learn alongside her. Those of us who are in her orbit know how truly gifted we are to be able to learn from someone who is a true horsewoman. She is a dressage trainer yes, but she is a horsewoman and behavioralist. The way you get a willing, submissive, trusting & HAPPY horse is by first understanding an animal and properly utilizing exercises in our dressage treasure chest at the right moment, with the correct intention & intensity. This is “Miss Kim’s” wheelhouse. On top of all this Kim is also a psychology major which has helped me look at my own behavior differently as it relates to decisions I make in the saddle and beyond.

Everyday I get to continue on in this journey of love, learning & healing with Bob, Kim & our team is a day won. I thank you all for your support over these past years… the people I have met in our community are such a large part of my heart and I’m thankful for each and every one of you! I would also like to thank my family and sponsors who make this sport possible to participate in, without you I would be lost!

A Tale Of Tails Pt II

Hart Share

The Sweet & Sour of Seven